5 Ways to Stop Feeling Selfish about Self-Care
"Self-care is not selfish." You've seen and heard this a thousand times, right? But, do you believe it?
Is taking care of yourself the first thing you move to the bottom of your priority list? Do you feel guilty for taking time for yourself? Do you feel like you don't deserve the pleasure of self-care unless you've taken care of everything and everyone else first? Do you believe self-care is a reward and not a necessity?
If you said yes to any of those questions, I want you to keep reading because this is for you. And if it's not for you, share this with someone who needs it!
Say the following phrase out loud (or at least in your head):
"I am worthy and deserving of self-care."
Repeat this over and over again when you feel that guilty/selfish voice whispering to you. Honestly, the act of repeating this affirmation is itself an act of self-care. Ok, ready? Let's move on!
If you struggle with feeling selfish or guilty about practicing self-care, I have five tips for you for kicking those feelings to the curb.
Remember why it's essential
When you're getting ready to push yourself to the bottom of the priority list, remind yourself why you should be near the top. Chances are you feel selfish or guilty because taking time for yourself means not taking time for your loved ones. But that is precisely why you must take time for yourself. You need to be healthy, clear of mind, with as little stress as possible to be fully present for those you love. So make a mental note that, ironically, self-care isn't all about you!
Start small
Learning to practice self-care is a lot like learning to swim. Most of us started learning to swim with "floaties" on our arms so we wouldn't sink and drown. Well, why not put on your "self-care floaties" and start where you are? You don't have to jump into the deep end with long sessions at the spa or gym or meditation cushion. Start small.
Spend a few extra minutes savoring your morning cup of coffee. Linger over a book or juicy article. Listen to your favorite song. Maybe your shower is just a little longer today, or you try a new skincare product. Find a moment or two when you can close your eyes and breathe. You see, it doesn't have to be a major time commitment to make a difference. Go ahead. Dip your toes in the water and see how it feels. Surely, a few minutes here and there isn't selfish, is it? Of course not.
Employ the buddy system
Who says self-care has to be a solo endeavor? Grab a friend and get your nails done, or catch up over lunch. Or, have them be your exercise accountability buddy. Go for a walk with your family or pop some popcorn and watch a movie. Have a date night or snuggle time with your partner. Play with your pets. Spending time doing enjoyable things with people you love is self-care for everyone! It's hard to feel selfish when you're not the only one reaping the benefits.
Journal your experience and results
Are you the type of person who likes to journal or write down their thoughts? If so, try writing about your self-care experiences. How do they make you feel? What results do you see over time? Going back later to read and reflect on your experience as an observer can be enlightening. Not a journaler? Try taking a moment before you go to sleep to look back on your day and mentally journal those thoughts and experiences. Seeing the positive results of your efforts will help ease those feelings of guilt and selfishness.
See yourself as a role model
This one goes out to all of you raising children in these trying times (or any time, really!). As we know, children pick up on everything—the spoken and unspoken. When you make self-care a priority, you're modeling good habits and behavior for them. You are showing them that personal well-being is essential. You are telling them that taking care of ourselves is necessary and not selfish. You show them that caring for yourself helps you care for others and that it's important to respect and value yourself. Remind yourself that being a positive role model is not selfish.
If you need to, write these five tips down on a piece of paper or in your notes app on your phone. Then, the next time those feelings of guilt or selfishness creep in, pull it out and let it guide you.
And don't forget: Self-care isn’t selfish. It's self-less.
I hope you find this helpful. If any of this resonated with you, please let me know by leaving a comment or by sharing this post!
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