The One Silly Myth About Meditation You Need to Stop Believing
Yes, I used to believe it too
Without fail, whenever I meet someone new, and they find out I teach meditation, the first thing they say is, "Oh, that's amazing! I can't meditate, though, because I can't clear my mind."
Cue my internal scream.
This is the meditation equivalent of "I can't do yoga because I'm not flexible enough." Yes, I'm a yoga teacher too, and no, I can't put my leg behind my head either! But, if I could dispel one myth about meditation, this would be the one.
You do not have to clear your mind of all thoughts to meditate.
Quite the contrary. In Mindfulness Meditation, we encourage being present in the moment and with our thoughts.
I was a skeptic too
While it makes me cringe now to hear people say this, I have to be honest that I used to think the same thing. I didn't come to realize the power of meditation until my late forties. This is also why I am passionate about helping people get over these assumptions and enjoy the benefits a meditation practice brings to your life.
During my corporate career, I was the epitome of the busy, stressed professional woman.
I'll rest later!
I'll sleep when I'm dead!
The concept of being still and trying to clear my mind was something I could not wrap my brain around. Savasana, at the end of a yoga class, was the closest I came to meditating. In retrospect, that is a form of meditation. It only took me years to make that connection.
I also held other common misconceptions about meditating.
I'll have to do it for at least half an hour
I'll have to sit entirely still
I'll have to chant or listen to weird music
I'll have to have a spiritual connection or experience
I'll have to be able to become completely free of thoughts and be transported
To be fair, meditations can incorporate these, but they don't have to be any or all of those! Too many people get scared off by meditation by imagining yogis or gurus chanting away in some spiritual type of practice.
As with yoga, there are many types of meditation, and there is something out there for everyone. I'm certainly happy I did because it changed my life entirely.
How I came around
As I mentioned before, the closest I'd come to meditation was a nice long savasana in yoga class. It wasn't until I experienced some major life upheaval that I came to appreciate it for what it was.
First, I suffered an unpleasant leg injury that took many months to heal. During this time, I was thrown out of my normally active routine. I was sedentary again and relying on my husband for help with the simple things. Independent Type As don't adjust easily to this shift.
Next, not long after this injury, I was laid off from my job, right before the holidays. Now, understand that while this was an upheaval and uncomfortable, it was an inflection point in my life that I'm grateful happened.
Finally, around this time, my elderly mother experienced some health issues and needed me a bit more help than usual.
So, during these months, a lot was going on, and I was sitting with many uncomfortable thoughts.
Will my leg get back to 100%?
Will I be able to do everything I used to?
What am I going to do with my life now?
Is Mom going to be ok?
During this time, I was going through physical therapy and was able to get back to doing some yoga and other things as a part of my physical healing process. It was a crucial part of that, but I did not expect it to help my mental healing.
In savasana, I would lie there with my thoughts and my fears welling up. Sometimes I'd shed a few tears. But, having that safe space to go to regularly every week helped me process what I was going through and to get comfortable sitting with complex thoughts and feelings.
This was when I started to open my mind up a bit to trying meditation outside of yoga to deal with stress and anxiety. I began playing around with mediation apps and videos. Some I liked, some I hated. And to be honest, I wasn't consistent with it. I'd try a couple, drop it for a few weeks or even months, and try again.
It wasn't until I found mindfulness-based meditation that everything changed. Finally, there was a style of meditation that didn't involve any of my presumptions of what it would be and didn't ask me to clear my mind!
My consistent practice did not settle in fully until I dealt with a debilitating anxiety attack that left me bed-ridden for a few days. Coming back to my meditation, yoga, and breath practice helped me heal. It also led me down a path to this fantastic new career I have as a teacher.
Mindfulness meditation is a perfect place for skeptics and beginners to start
As a reformed skeptic and beginner, and now as a mindfulness/meditation teacher, I believe this practice is a perfect starting point.
Mindfulness meditation is accessible, simple, and accommodating. It does not ask us to ignore everything and seek a clear mind. It teaches us to be present and aware in the moment and to be with our thoughts. It helps us to be able to sit with thoughts and feelings that are uncomfortable. It can allow us to change our relationship with and nurture a sense of non-judgment around them.
The most powerful aspect of this practice, in my opinion, is that after developing a regular practice, you may unwittingly take these skills with you "off the mat" and notice how you respond differently in stressful situations. This was my experience. I am more objective of my thoughts and responses in certain situations, and I handle stressful situations more calmly than ever.
You can practice mindfulness meditation techniques for a few minutes a day. Sitting, walking, lying down, even eating. You can use guided meditations with or without music.
We never know until we try
Is mindfulness meditation for everyone? Technically, yes, it can be for everyone, but it doesn't have to be, and that's ok. If you give it a good faith effort (i.e., more than once and one technique), and it doesn't do it for you, move on. But, you need to let go of the myths and assumptions to give it a chance. Like my father used to say about trying new food:
You don't have to like it, but you have to try it at least once.
I won't go into all the details in this article. Still, below I'm linking to two articles I wrote specifically about how to start a practice and styles of mindfulness meditation for beginners. These are good resources if you are starting to come around to the idea of trying.
Meditation for Beginners: An Easy How-to Guide for Busy People
8 Simple Types of Mindfulness Meditation Suitable for Beginners
Summary
At the start of this article, I stated that when it comes to having to clear your mind to be able to meditate that:
If I could dispel one myth about meditation, this would be the one.
If you've made it this far, I hope that I've succeeded in dispelling it for you. If I learned anything from my own experience that I'd like you to take away from this, stop psyching yourself out, stop making assumptions about what meditation is supposed to be and, just give it a try.
Opening ourselves up to new experiences can have surprising, sometimes life-changing results. Mindfulness meditation is an experience worth trying.
